Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Ships and Shits

I'm an open book and I get attached super easily. I could be very loud most of the times people would call me 'gedik'/'over'/'beria' as soon as they meet me for the first time. What to do mayn, I'm energetic liddat when I meet new people PROVIDED that the surrounding is cool enough for me,

But as you get to know me,I'm actually very sentimental,complicated and not that loud pun actually. I treasure everyone that willingly to stay with me even though they have seen the shitty,dorkiest sideS of mine. I can't thank them enough for making me a part of their lives.

However,I have a problem. I would get really,really upset when they want to walk away from my life.

You see,I've faced a lot of rejections since I was in primary school. At every stages of life,I would lose a lot of people that I used to love so much,Even some of my cousins don't really acknowledge my presence. Sometimes, it's either I would go to sleep with tears or i stayed up all night long,crying until the migraine hit me the very next morning and i will be super miserable and I'll screw up everyone's life on that particular day that's how annoying I could be. Probably that's the reason why so many people left me. It's awful;we would become very close,like really,really close and then BOOM! The time would be reversed or something idk we would be back to the time before we even know each other : a total stranger. It happens all the time.

Occasionally,this little girl inside me will scream,asking why people couldn't just accept me for who I am.Everyone is flawed,but I can bear each and every single one of em.Why couldn't they?I might be loud,harsh,emotional and even irrelevant but I would be the first person to be by their sides if they need a shoulder to cry on,or a hand to help,or simply a pair of ears to listen. I treasure them very much.

But that's life.Or maybe that's MY life. He pulled out unworthy people to only let the precious stay.

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